One Idea:
How to Give Feedback? I was working with a particularly difficult co-worker, one that you wonder how they stay employed based on the garbage that comes out of their mouth. You put up with it, but when those comments are directed at you – it can be shocking & if not ready with response it’s all too easy to shut down, or retaliate with similar language.
My approach was to use something called the feedback model, an example goes like this:
Ms. Nasty says: “didn’t you hear me, are you deaf or just stupid?”
Ms. Nice: “can I give you some feedback?”  “When you say I am deaf and stupid, here’s what happens, it hurts my feelings and makes me wish you didn’t work here, can you do something about that?”
Another version could be “It hurts my feelings & it wont be tolerated any more, what steps are you going to take to end these comments?”
The Feedback steps are:
1. Ask permission to give feedback. (you may think they would say no, but I have never had someone decline except my wife!).
2. Explain the bad or good behavior. “When you (bad or good behavior)”
3. Explain the impact of their behavior. “Here’s what happens (I feel like crap, our meeting runs long, etc)”
4. Ask them to change or if good behavior to keep it up. “Can you do something about that?” or if good “Keep it up, it really helps!”
One Question:
Do you have a difficult time giving feedback? Â
One Exercise:Â
Try out this feedback model this week. Start with a positive behavior. Keep it simple, like “when you show up to meeting on time, our meetings are quick & we get a lot done, thank you – keep it up!”  Benefit of positive feedback is that it makes it clear the behavior you want your employees to repeat. People are not mind readers so provide clear & specific feedback is a best practice.
Bonus Feedback Examples:
“when you wear headphones & slouch in your chair at office, here’s what happens, I think you are disengaged & don’t enjoy working here, can you do something about that?”
“When you show up late to office and spend 30minutes sharing all your personal issues, here’s what happens, the entire department falls behind & has to work over, what steps can you take to correct this?”
“When you swear and ridicule your peer employees, here’s what happens, I question your fit on our team, what steps can you take to fix this behavior today?”