By Dave Smith, The Ultimate Retirement Coach
www.LeapRetirement.com
We often celebrate feeling good — joy, comfort, peace — as the markers of a successful life or retirement. But science and psychology tell a different story.
True resilience isn’t about avoiding discomfort — it’s about learning to navigate it.
When you only feel strong when life feels good, your peace becomes fragile. But when you learn to face challenges — loss, uncertainty, loneliness, frustration — with patience and curiosity, something powerful happens: you grow tougher and kinder.
Research in positive psychology (Dr. Martin Seligman, University of Pennsylvania) shows that people who can experience and recover from discomfort — instead of avoiding it — end up with greater emotional stability and long-term happiness. Neuroscience backs this up: each time you face difficulty without running from it, your brain rewires toward adaptability and calm under pressure.
Slow and steady wins — not just the race, but your peace of mind. Because steady isn’t about always feeling good; it’s about staying the course through both the light and the dark.
Maybe it’s the discomfort of saying “no” when you usually say “yes.”
Maybe it’s the pain of losing routine or identity after retirement.
Maybe it’s the fear of starting something new — a business, a friendship, a healthier lifestyle.
Growth always has a cost. The question isn’t how to avoid pain, but how to choose pain that leads to growth.
What’s one thing you’re willing to feel bad about — because it will ultimately make you better, stronger, or freer?
Take 10 minutes today to complete this reflection. Write slowly, honestly, and without judgment.
Identify the Discomfort:
What’s one area of life that feels uncomfortable right now?
▢ Relationships
▢ Finances
▢ Health
▢ Identity or Purpose
▢ Other: _________________________
Name the Feeling:
What emotion do you feel when you think about it?
Connect to Growth:
How might this discomfort actually be helping you grow or heal?
Set a Small Practice:
What’s one way you can stay with this feeling instead of avoiding it this week?
Reframe the Story:
Complete this sentence:
“This pain is teaching me _______________________________.”
Reflection:
How do you feel after naming and reframing the pain?
Resilience doesn’t come from comfort — it’s crafted in challenge. You don’t build strength by avoiding the storm; you build it by learning how to dance in the rain.
So slow down. Feel the waves. Let them shape you, not sink you.
You’ll find that the steadiness you’ve been seeking was never about perfection — it was about presence.
Let me know what you find.
— Dave Smith, The Ultimate Retirement Coach
www.LeapRetirement.com