My Boss Screwed Me Over

5 Ways to Forgive a Boss Who Screwed You Over and Damaged Your Career

One Idea: 

Have you ever said: “My Boss Screwed me Over”. How do you move forward? Maybe they:

• Undermined your work, took credit for your ideas, manipulated situations, and ultimately sabotaged your career growth.
• Boss used you as a scapegoat to cover their mistakes, throwing you under the bus to save their own reputation.
• Boss threw the entire organization out to save themselves and appease the leadership.
  
   

Having a boss who undermines you or sabotages your career can feel like a betrayal. It’s painful, frustrating, and can shake your confidence. But hanging onto anger or resentment won’t help you move forward. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, but it can help you regain control over your career and emotional well-being. Here are five ways to forgive a boss who has really messed you up:

1. Process the Hurt and Acknowledge Your Feelings
   It’s natural to feel hurt, angry, or even embarrassed when your boss screws you over. Take time to really process what you’re feeling. Whether it’s frustration, disappointment, or betrayal, don’t rush through these emotions. Acknowledge them and give yourself permission to feel them fully. Understanding the depth of your emotions is the first step toward healing.

2. Shift Your Perspective on Their Actions
   It’s easy to assume your boss acted maliciously, but sometimes, their behavior could stem from their own insecurities, pressures, or personal issues. This doesn’t excuse their actions, but it may help you reframe the situation. Consider the possibility that their behavior might not be about you at all—perhaps it was a reflection of their own struggles or poor leadership. This shift in perspective can make it easier to let go of the personal anger.

3. Understand You Can’t Control Their Actions, Only Your Response
   One of the hardest things about being screwed over by a boss is feeling like you have no control. But the truth is, while you can’t change their actions, you can control how you respond. Holding onto resentment gives them more power over your life than they deserve. By forgiving, you take back that power. You decide how their actions affect your future, and you choose to move forward rather than remain stuck.

4. Let Go of the Need for an Apology
   It’s easy to cling to the hope that your boss will apologize or make things right, but often, that never happens. The longer you wait for an apology, the more you allow them to continue to hurt you. Forgiveness doesn’t require an acknowledgment from the other person. Instead, it’s about freeing yourself from the emotional weight of their actions. Let go of the need for an apology, and focus on how you can rebuild your career and peace of mind, with or without their recognition.

5. Forgive Yourself for Staying in the Situation
   If you feel like you allowed your boss to treat you poorly for longer than you should have, self-blame can creep in. You might blame yourself for not standing up sooner or for tolerating the mistreatment. But self-blame only keeps you stuck in the past. Forgive yourself for being in that situation, and recognize that you did the best you could with the information and resources you had at the time. Now, you’re in a new chapter, and it’s time to move forward without guilt.

Forgiving a boss who has hurt you and damaged your career doesn’t mean excusing their behavior or forgetting what happened. It means letting go of the negative emotions that are holding you back. By forgiving, you reclaim your personal power and open up the opportunity for new growth, both professionally and personally. When you forgive, you create space for healing and progress, and you give yourself the chance to build a better future—free from the shadow of their actions.

One Question: 

Have you ever said “My Boss Screwed Me Over?”

One Exercise:

One exercise to try this week is journaling. Write a letter to your boss expressing your feelings, but don’t send it. Focus on releasing your emotions and gaining clarity on what you’ve learned from the situation. Then, tear it up or delete it—this symbolic act helps let go of resentment and shift your focus toward moving forward.