Stop Chasing Happiness—Start Living It
By Dave Smith, The Ultimate Retirement Coach
ONE IDEA:
Happiness is like being cool—the harder you try, the less it’s going to happen.
Think back to your teenage years. Remember the “cool kid” who never tried to be cool? They just were. Happiness works the same way. When we strain and strive for it—through achievements, purchases, or perfect plans—it slips further from our grasp.
Real joy sneaks in when we stop hunting for it like treasure and simply start being—being present, being grateful, being real. Especially in retirement, when the chase slows down, it’s time to re-learn how to just live.
“No man chooses evil because it is evil; he mistakes it for happiness.” – Mary Shelley
Many of us confuse “what looks good” with “what feels good”—and we give up a lot along the way.
ONE QUESTION:
What have you given up in your life to chase happiness? Was it worth it?
We often trade time, relationships, passions, even health in the pursuit of a lifestyle or ideal we think will finally make us happy. But how often does that actually pay off? And what if the joy you’re seeking has been right beside you this whole time—quiet, unassuming, waiting for you to stop sprinting?
This week, take time to journal your answer. Be honest. Be gentle. You’re not judging your past—you’re simply learning from it.
ONE EXERCISE:
Try This: Stop Chasing Happiness in Just One Area of Life This Week
Pick one part of your life—money, fitness, friendships, even how you spend your mornings—and stop trying to force happiness. Instead, observe. Be still. Accept. Appreciate what already is instead of striving for what should be.
Use the worksheet below to guide you.
🌿 [Worksheet: “Let Go to Let In”](Notional URL)
| Area of Life | What I’m Trying to Force | What I Will Let Go This Week | What I Noticed When I Let Go |
|---|---|---|---|
| e.g., Morning Routine | Trying to feel productive right away | The need to check email by 7 AM | Felt more calm and enjoyed coffee |
Print this. Fill it in every day if you can. Small shifts add up.
Reflect, Then Share
After trying this exercise, reflect on your experience. Did anything shift for you? If you’re open to it, share your thoughts with someone—your spouse, a friend, or even online.
Let’s normalize living over chasing.
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Final Thought:
You’ve worked hard. You’ve achieved a lot. Maybe this is the season to stop striving and start savoring. Happiness won’t be chased down. But it will walk with you—if you slow down enough to notice it.
Until next week,
– Dave Smith
The Ultimate Retirement Coach